God Knows

I realize that your religion is a consolation to you. It is extremely difficult to accept the fact that a loved one has passed away. I suggest you do try to accept it however, and deal with the reality of the situation. A belief in heaven or hell, or any kind of life after death, is the default because it is easier to deal with during difficult times. Critical thought and an examination of what truly makes this life worth living will help you deal, truly deal, with the loss of a loved one.